garrote n. a cord, thong, or length of wire for strangling a robbery victim, enemy sentry, etc. in a surprise attack
Not just an attack, a surprise attack. Gadzooks.
Furthermore:
urolith n. same as URINARY CALCULUS (not to be confused with DIFFERENTIAL CALCULUS or INTEGRAL CALCULUS)
urinary calculus a calculus in the urinary tract
Sunday
Words don't always suffice, but
Let's talk about love
Not that shit that gets sold as cheap cheap cards
and diamond bracelets
I mean, let's talk about love
Let's talk about the things that noone has time for anymore
a handwritten letter
a walk in the park
a rootbeer float, two straws
About the things they've been replaced with
chocolate and flowers on the "right days"
second-hand poetry
a big house
About how little we know, how
little we've seen, how
much we want
About how your smiles are especially charming at twilight
About how I forget myself around you
How I promise not to give you a house
or flowers or chocolate on the "right days",
but a home, no matter the where? or how large?
and daisies on Thursdays, just because
And how I will always, always write my own poetry
Let's talk
About you
About me
About us
Yes, let's talk about us
Not that shit that gets sold as cheap cheap cards
and diamond bracelets
I mean, let's talk about love
Let's talk about the things that noone has time for anymore
a handwritten letter
a walk in the park
a rootbeer float, two straws
About the things they've been replaced with
chocolate and flowers on the "right days"
second-hand poetry
a big house
About how little we know, how
little we've seen, how
much we want
About how your smiles are especially charming at twilight
About how I forget myself around you
How I promise not to give you a house
or flowers or chocolate on the "right days",
but a home, no matter the where? or how large?
and daisies on Thursdays, just because
And how I will always, always write my own poetry
Let's talk
About you
About me
About us
Yes, let's talk about us
Saturday
They're a cinch in the kitch
I promise!
Experimentations that happened to turn out well.. enjoy!
Pear Somethingorothers
You'll need:
vegetable oil
1 can halved pears
1/4 cup flour
2 tbsp. sugar
1 tbsp. salt
cinnamon
cheddar cheese
a bowl
a spoon
a knife
a pan
a spatula
a stove
an appetite
You'll:
Combine flour, sugar, and salt in the bowl and blend together with the spoon. Set aside. Place pan upon a hot, stove-like surface with oil covering the bottom. Slice the pear halves longways into pieces about half an inch thick. Dredge the pear slices in the dry mixture. Make sure that they are completely covered. Seriously. : )
Fry pear slices one by one or many at a time, your preference, until golden-brown, or black (also your preference). Use the spatula to flip them. (Duh.) After flipping from the first side to the second, sprinkle the cooked side with cinnamon. Right before removing the pear from the pan, place a slice of cheddar cheese on top to melt. Ok. Now remove it.. them.. whatever. Let cool. Consume. Yum.
- ~ - ~ - ~ -
This is Not Your Grandmother's Pineapple Upside-Down Cake
Trust me, mine had a fit. Almost wouldn't eat it.
You'll need:
one box of yellow cake mix
one box of lime gelatin
one pack of hot cocoa mix
one can of crushed pineapple
whipped topping
measuring spoons
runcible spoon
a couple bowls
nonstick spray
two oven-safe pans
can opener
an oven
oven mits
a sense of adventure
You'll:
Preheat oven to 325. Spray pans with the nonstick spray. Prepare yellow cake mix as directed on the box. Mix three tablespoons of lime gelatin into the cake mix. Looks yummy, right? Now, pour the batter into your two pans. (Size and shape don't matter at all. I used a large rectangular pan and a small square one for a neat stacked effect. Plus, they're all I could find.) Sprinkle the hot cocoa mix over the batter, go ahead and use the whole pack. Use the runcible spoon to stir the mix down into the batter, not too well, though. This creates a nice choclately swireled effect. Bake for 30 minutes or until the top(s) bouncy back all springy-like when you poke them. In the mean time, open the can of crushed pineapple and drain off the juice. Now, mix the remaining geltain powder with the pineapple.
Wait for the cakes to be done.
Ding!
Ready?
Good.
Now let them cool. Completely.
This requires more waiting, sorry.
Cool?
Excellent.
Place the first layer on whatever dish you have handy. Slather a layer of whipped topping on, thick as you like. I chose not to cover the sides to show off the cake a little, but if you want the green confection to be a surprise then by all means go ahead and cover them. Next, layer that icky looking pineapple concoction. Continue this process with as many layers as you have.
Now, dare to try it. Convince people you know to try it. Convine people you don't know to try it.
On second thought.. don't. That could be horrendously misconsrued.
In any case, it's delicious.
Experimentations that happened to turn out well.. enjoy!
Pear Somethingorothers
You'll need:
vegetable oil
1 can halved pears
1/4 cup flour
2 tbsp. sugar
1 tbsp. salt
cinnamon
cheddar cheese
a bowl
a spoon
a knife
a pan
a spatula
a stove
an appetite
You'll:
Combine flour, sugar, and salt in the bowl and blend together with the spoon. Set aside. Place pan upon a hot, stove-like surface with oil covering the bottom. Slice the pear halves longways into pieces about half an inch thick. Dredge the pear slices in the dry mixture. Make sure that they are completely covered. Seriously. : )
Fry pear slices one by one or many at a time, your preference, until golden-brown, or black (also your preference). Use the spatula to flip them. (Duh.) After flipping from the first side to the second, sprinkle the cooked side with cinnamon. Right before removing the pear from the pan, place a slice of cheddar cheese on top to melt. Ok. Now remove it.. them.. whatever. Let cool. Consume. Yum.
- ~ - ~ - ~ -
This is Not Your Grandmother's Pineapple Upside-Down Cake
Trust me, mine had a fit. Almost wouldn't eat it.
You'll need:
one box of yellow cake mix
one box of lime gelatin
one pack of hot cocoa mix
one can of crushed pineapple
whipped topping
measuring spoons
runcible spoon
a couple bowls
nonstick spray
two oven-safe pans
can opener
an oven
oven mits
a sense of adventure
You'll:
Preheat oven to 325. Spray pans with the nonstick spray. Prepare yellow cake mix as directed on the box. Mix three tablespoons of lime gelatin into the cake mix. Looks yummy, right? Now, pour the batter into your two pans. (Size and shape don't matter at all. I used a large rectangular pan and a small square one for a neat stacked effect. Plus, they're all I could find.) Sprinkle the hot cocoa mix over the batter, go ahead and use the whole pack. Use the runcible spoon to stir the mix down into the batter, not too well, though. This creates a nice choclately swireled effect. Bake for 30 minutes or until the top(s) bouncy back all springy-like when you poke them. In the mean time, open the can of crushed pineapple and drain off the juice. Now, mix the remaining geltain powder with the pineapple.
Wait for the cakes to be done.
Ding!
Ready?
Good.
Now let them cool. Completely.
This requires more waiting, sorry.
Cool?
Excellent.
Place the first layer on whatever dish you have handy. Slather a layer of whipped topping on, thick as you like. I chose not to cover the sides to show off the cake a little, but if you want the green confection to be a surprise then by all means go ahead and cover them. Next, layer that icky looking pineapple concoction. Continue this process with as many layers as you have.
Now, dare to try it. Convince people you know to try it. Convine people you don't know to try it.
On second thought.. don't. That could be horrendously misconsrued.
In any case, it's delicious.
Friday
Maybe?
"The time will come," the old one crooned,
"when you'll know what you want-
that voice, those eyes, those tender
lips will be your only thoughts."
I heard her words and knew her faith
that sometime in my life
my knight would come and steal my
heart and take me for his wife.
I watched and waited patiently
for that fabled day to come
when some beauty would appear to me
and make me fall in love.
Much time has passed and I have known
many a loveless kiss,
but oh! those eyes! those lips! that voice!
I've found my happiness.
It blossomed forth so naturally,
just as the old one promised,
but neither she nor I foresaw
a lover quite like this.
"when you'll know what you want-
that voice, those eyes, those tender
lips will be your only thoughts."
I heard her words and knew her faith
that sometime in my life
my knight would come and steal my
heart and take me for his wife.
I watched and waited patiently
for that fabled day to come
when some beauty would appear to me
and make me fall in love.
Much time has passed and I have known
many a loveless kiss,
but oh! those eyes! those lips! that voice!
I've found my happiness.
It blossomed forth so naturally,
just as the old one promised,
but neither she nor I foresaw
a lover quite like this.
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